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IN THE BACK TO THE FUTURE DELOREAN

there really is no room to have sex with another person in the time machine, but you can safely and comfortably jerk off in the driver's seat — which i did when i swiped the car from the brown estate for a few hours in october of 1985. the flux capacitor does add a kind of "mood lighting" to a good masturbation session, but you're probably just better off jerking off in a your own bed, or bowl of cap't crunch, or tub of maple butter, or noose, or bush, or crevice, or box of kraft mac and cheese, or supercuts, or mental hospital, or pixelated russian doll, or ocean, or leaf, or whatever wacked out place you can find to drop a load. but the time circuits are pretty cool on the delorean. would love to go down on george mcfly someday. i just don't think i could take that kind of a rejection. 1985.

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