andy pink, exhausted, ready to bludgeon his bird to death — i was up all night and watched an hour of fox news, which i sometimes do when i'm depressed. fox news is so transparent in its ideology (meaning: values, mores, policy, politics, position, and so on) that it almost gives ideology a bad name. fox's version of ideology is its transparency — it's all very obvious to the viewer what it is selling. there is no veil, no hidden agenda, no suberfuge, it's just what it is: pr

andy pink, live from pre-thanksgiving fasting — i came out at the age of 17, first to my mom and sister, who cried but were okay, later to my friends at swarthmore, then later that summer to my friends from brookline high school (who i remain close to today). i was a j.cr ew queen for a long time, and my friend rachel referred to me as being in a "glass closet," meaning it was obvious to everybody that i was gay. i spent a lot of time dancing (no drugs) in college, and i had

andy pink, almost alive after a rye everything bagel, callus, fla — no one has visited the site for several days despite the google ad campaign that even according to google has done nothing for the website. i'm tempted to cancel the help. i think the site is quality, so i'm not sure why no one checks it out, or at least lands on it accidentally. obviously the google ads are not helping. what would help? i have abandoned the website several times over the last 10 years, only

andy pink for you, waiting and suffering on a chromebook that is a giant piece of crud, did locate pornhub, but the screen is so dark i cannot see the root from the cauliflower - the german social theorist, jurgen habermas, rather famously theorized what he called the "ideal speech situation" which he imaged is a discourse that is guided by reason (with such impossible accoutrements as clarity, transparency, equality, and so on) - for habermas, the idea is that political just

andy pink, live from dollywood, happy to be away from the frost and in the land of vacation - as i mentioned in the previous entry, these entries are not to be included in Hallucinations of Desire: Memoirs in Queer Manic Depression - the book is itself too long, and unorganized, and sprawling, and though i have been writing this material for 10 years, i'm paring down some of the work so that it is publishable, printable, and distributable. that said, i will be writing for the

andy pink, virtually unable to write on this cpl chromebook: the scrolling is all microsoft retarded, it's hard to hold, the keys are light and unresponsive, the screen sucks, and i don't understand its fear and shame, other than the usual intimidation, height, and sophistication. my macbook computer screen freaked out and the contraption is at the apple store for a week, happily on applecare+. The writing for Hallucinations of Desire is now closed, i wrote a "Concluding Unsc

dearest readers, andy pink on the tapa tapa, prepared to divulge the secrets of the ice bath — rachel, who has the most energy of anyone i have ever met, and this coming from someone with a lot of energy, at his worst, runs essentially a healing arts practice, which she told me this morning is in the six-figures, and the fundamental component of the practice is the ice bath: submerging her clients in an ice bath for several minutes (perhaps longer; the paid sessions are for 6

andy pink, live from orlando, in the mouse suit with a boner — i went to the nephrologist today, by cambridge hospital, and the md (after an excruciatingly long wait) took me and talked frankly to me about lithium, my kidneys, and how they are getting along swimmingly. lithium can implode an innocent's kidneys (that's what happened to rich), but mine are fine, and except for a few mild distortions — like high cholesterol and high blood pressure, and a mild urination problem,

andy pink, live from the living hell that is estrangement from rich, our biggest fan on the fact sheet — more to come: i had a therapist a few years ago, in an intense relationship, he hardly talked, it was mostly psychoanalysis (desire, symptom, master signifier) and psychodynamic (transference). anyway, at the time i was struggling with the meds — i was off berklee a good three x a year for my illness — and so we were experimenting with the drugs (roulette), and i was talki

andy pink — live from detroit, michigan, motor city, where the pretty boys meet the factory floor — as this is a book for gay men, and this website is for queer image afficionados, i can say with some definition that we all find: the woman's body to be ugly. in freud's schema, the woman represents loss and lack and castration, but in a very specific sense; it's not merely that the clitoris is not the penis (that it is dimunitive, like rich, and therefore inferior or figurativ