1. Cut them off

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2. Pray the boobs away

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3. Donate your boobs to charity

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4. Feed the children — your boobs

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5. Loan your boobs out, on interest

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6. Burn your boobs

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7. Write a book about the experience

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8. Pretend you don't have your boobs

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9. Hide your boobs behind sheets of chiffon

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10. Start thinking of your boobs as a useful prop or a period piece