1. Try a bunch of expensive and sketchy products — who knows?

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2. Make peace with your situation

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3. Give up on a sex life and invest your efforts elsewhere

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4. Talk to a professional if your insurance will cover it

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5. Make it a source of pride

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6. Think of it as "your cross to bear"

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7. Blame your father

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8. Think globally, act locally

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9. Laugh it off as "part of life"

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10. Vote

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If the above advice does not work: execute yourself