1. Finally tell your parents that you are gay

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2. Tell them that it's not a big deal

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3. Tell them that you still want to get married

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4. Tell them that you still want to have kids

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5. Tell them that you still want to lead a boring, normal life

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6. Don't tell them that you like unprotected bareback anal sex

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7. Don't tell them that you have a boyfriend who is older

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8. Don't tell them that your boyfriend is older than your dad

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9. Don't tell them that this is the last time that you will speak to them

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10. Tell them that you are happy with who you are

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If all else fails, tell them that being the son of parents who are first cousins has completely ruined your life and made you a total faggot — in other words, tell them that it is their fault