john, father, kind, funny, understood me in total, smart, college drop out, taxi driver, I don't really know him, depressed, first attempted suicide at age 10, would like him to hold me, handsome, two memories, first, throwing up on his hchest, second, seeing his dick at fenway park, first boyfriend in spirit, end of the family line, hanged himself in his father's garage at age 34, I was 7, rip, missed. 1984.