"Last April my mom and I were throwing an outdoor party for our annual yard sale in Brunesville, Maine, and it was getting completely out of control. Not only had mom started massive price cuts but my dad was giving free horsie rides on his knees to the girls in the neighborhood. Well, you can imagine, one thing led to another and dad and I took our shirts off. Word got out pretty quick to the neighborhood gay boys in Brunesville that I was bare — pecs and abs out at the annual yard sale — and so hundreds of young 18 year old hot blond gay boys all of a sudden just showed up at the yard sale. At first I thought maybe the boys showed up because mom had started the massive price cuts on the yard sale inventory, but it turned out that the boys were in the yard because my milkshake was out, shaking all around. Next thing I know the 18 year old hot blond gay boys in the neighborhood are all up in my milkshake and dad's giving horsie rides to 6 year old girls with his shirt off. But in the end, the yard sale was a success, all of the inventory moved, and at the end of the day, when the boys had left, mom said, 'son, your milkshake brings all the guys to the yard.' And I was like, 'catchy.' Fucking white people."

— Jaden D.