Crawling up a man's ass in order to disappear

Andy Pink on the other side of the fantasy, greeting boys as they make their way out, from disappearance to emergence —

i have had this fantasy before, more in college, that i would crawl up a man's ass and disappear into the boy's body, only to reemerge on the other side even whiter and blonder and twinkier than before, both of us. this is hot — I had a particular man (college student) in mind: nate mason, who had a beautiful arch face and a spread of straight golden locks that ran down too his masculine pecs. as usual, as i write, i 'm quickly getting a boner and will need to relieve it — abandon you and the text — soon. i would say it's a unique fantasy — crawling in the ass, making an existence in it, crawling out the other side with grace and beauty: 6' 155 (145), blond, 7.5, cut. nate mason had similar detes, and i found his penis to be almost as glorious as my own.

i decided to nix harvard and tits for the day in favor of coming downtown to thinking cup. i plan to get a lot of work done here (book four: "from equivalence to singularity" — which is about Althusser's image of the "new philosophy" and about marx's detailed interpretation of Vol 1 of Capital — this work of marxism that is the text that fascinates Althusser the most. A lot of work has been done on this: the elucidation of marx's interpretation of capital and the commodity, and analysis (of an interpretation) of the object of capital.

Althusser will later say, essentially, that the proper object of capital is not money or revolution but: forms of subjectivity. Althusser's critique of forms of subjectivity under capital (e.g., homo economics: rationalizing, calculating, abstract, detached, and profit-making) is weak, but its advance is that it at least historicizes the "individual," making apparent that we have not alway been this way and that we will not always be this way. another selfhood and sociality can be summarized as a non-subject — beseeching the question: what is self after subject?

But my point is that the second half of "equivalence and singularity" is basically finished, with the work on debt from the big book also complete. all that needs to be done is the opening section on "the new philosophy" (Althusser) — a type of work that invents concepts that aid and abed the class struggle of the proletariat.

Like, with Deleuze's version of philosophy as the invention of concepts that can solve problems on the plane of immanence, the "new philosophy" intervenes in the field of the class struggle, inventing concepts that support revolutionary work, in the place of philosophy. What are these new concepts? First, for Althusser, is the ISA (ideological state apparatus), which produces the ideological configuration of the "individual." The alternative to the "individual," is Althusser's vague notion of a "structure without a subject," or a "process without an author." Finally: the question is always: Who comes after the "individual" or the subject?

This is the point at which "posthumanism" enters the theoretical picture. (I consider my own theorizations of the perverse, relational, and cinematic anti-selfhood and post-sociality. But the range of work of "posthumanism" extends from animal studies to media studies, black studies to film theory, and beyond.

in any case, the idea that money is a representation without a referent is the primary thesis of the second part of the book.

The third part of the book is about debt, or of plenitude obscured as lack in the capitalist system, concretized by the central banks. In essence, new money (due to the productivity of labor and technology) can only enter the system through debt. More there — this applies to personal loans to corporate loans, and the rest.

the queer class feels like a disaster; it's going fine, the students are enjoying it, but because the discussions are so remedial, and so stupid, that it's hard to take an interest in any of the students. and they are girls. and, as i've said before, these girls are so easily wounded (usually about language) that there's no fun or play in the class (and perhaps in these students). gen-zzz and woke culture: they will eventually, with some shame, be cancelled by the culture.

as i have nothing to say about lesbians or bisexuals (or polys, demi gods, non binaries, and so on), i always tend to turn the conversations back to gay men. the girls want to talk about bisexuality, which is so boring, and they talk about identity and desire in the most basic level of language. Because I don't want to talk to these bitches, I tend to assign a lot of group work, and slip out of the room for a half-hour. They love group work, it inspires them to chat endlessly about nothing.

i must go now, thinking cup is my spot now, and one of the hipster baristas is here, with a few casual looks in the other's direction.

If your ass is prepared, I am down to penetrate my body into yours, head first — hoping that this existential oneness of the bodies will inspire desire and pleasure, and not identity.

hot, and ready for one of these 20s hipsters, mouth drooling, waiting for a sizzling hipster dentist, next month —

love andy pink

younger years.