re g.fresh v. monsanto

from monsanto, with love —

may 27, 2016

los alamos, laboratory

dear g.fresh,

it is nice to finally speak to you in person. i am writing because i want to let you know that, after some consideration and consultation — including 6 therapy sessions devoted entirely to the question of the efficacy of transitional farming — after some medication, i have decided to return to trader j's. it's nothing personal — it's certainly not a slight against your staff which is reasonably helpful if underpaid and — possibly — underweight (though not lou from meats).

the issue is: i have come down with several symptoms from conventionally grown product in your produce section. below, in order of debilitating symptoms due to monsanto genetically engineered product in the produce section of your store, g.fresh, at the corner of california/harvard, across from the muslim convenience store that you put out of business, carelessly — below, my anger.

i have come to actively dislike p*trick.

there is a homosexual checking in from california, san francisco — possibly interested, let me know when you get to huntsville, alabama.

peace, andy