self-hating homophobic faggot — and a dick too!

andy p, playland, michigan —

i'm keeping up the letter update but i won't put up the sign. i've clicked around enough on it — with different ip addresses — that it now comes up on google. the stance was intimidation, fuck off, back off, and peter got it exactly right because he's older, more experienced, and i don't have any experience (that i recognized) with self-hating homophobic homosexuals. he'll eventually get back to the site, though i don't think he's checked it since, though it's hard to know. i'm a little frightened, i don't think i'll walk by the store, though if i get hypomanic i probably will take that route.

the stance was intentional and it was coded to be intimidation.

i feel textually gay bashed. and physically, in retrospect.

i'm sure he is merely ambivalent toward his fellow gay colleagues who are working on the gay gene. to think of homosexuality as a mutation — and the very idea, to wit: that people like me would be naturally selected out of the future of the survival of the heterosexualist a long time ago — you have to be a homophobe, and also an idiot, to believe in evolution. i'm honestly not sure who i should pity more — the gay colleagues in search of the gay gene in biochem at boston university or patrick in search of peace at the starbucks in allston, massachusetts. the answer: neither. i only pity people i like.

andy

i now realize that both of those events — intimidation stance outside of starbucks in the dark and 141 while jerking off to my website in the light — those were perfectly open acknowledgements to me of his homosexuality. he would have to have known my hermeneutics given my clothing and intellectual interests (which he knew) — it really is an aggressive back off, the first time, and quite a threat, the second time.

as in deconstruction 101, it's not what you say it's what you don't say — no email — but exit survey 141.

totally horrifying and unexpected.

michael

so naive, such little experience, crazy brain.

who's up for the patriots game?