Barista #1 > Barista #1

Andy Pink, live from inside of your asshole, swallowing —

I was at thinking cup this morning, after my phone appt with goodman, it was not that great, and I left after about an hour. I got my $3.21 green tea iced tea: with the one of the two baristas, they look identical, and i'm not entirely sure whether they are in fact distinct. seems to me that both have some facial hair going: barista #1 has a mustache, whereas i believe (he wasn't in attendance at the bar this morning) barista #1 has more facial hair, a bit spiky. We had locked eyes the other day, and it was nice, even intense, long, whereas today barista #2, when i smiled at him today, felt cold, even uncomfortable with my queerness: which i think is evident in my pink max headphones.

what's enticing about me is that it is not entirely clear whether i am gay: i have certain gay accoutrements, but i am certainly straight-acting except for some of the precious threads of my clothing, like the bright orange bucket hat, which would certainly look better on a black guy.

i do hope that barista #1 is distinct from barista #2, and that barista #2 and i are to have a love affair from afar, gazing and away, furtive and ashamed, insecure and unsure — he probably has a girlfriend that somehow complements his hipster aesthetic (knowingness about music), though i would add that girls do not complement boys in any way.

there was an article in the times about a famous chemistry professor (princeton, nyu) who has been fired after his students complained that his course was too hard, grades hard. unimaginably — the institution fired him: his warning to other professors in any field. this is grotesque mismanagement, although i would say that all management ("adminstration") is monstrous — administrators reproduce themselves like ants, and worse, they don't make anything, they are useless. they are the ownership class, as marx would say, passing along papers, endlessly. professors actually make things — we make people, perhaps the most important thing to make.

week 2 of ww is coming along well. although i ate a bottle of peanut butter this morning, i feel full, and won't need to go to a local diner and find grub for my belly, tonight.

barista #2 is my official barista crush. he works mondays, not tuesdays, and i think wednesdays, we can only dream!

into the depression, sink —

love andy pink and the rest of the patients

mon bel ami.