rich, kid

Feb 18
2 min read

after writing on the homepage yesterday, i realized that this is stupid: we both like each other, or are interested in each other, nothing really more, even though we have stayed in each other's minds for a couple of years, and we should just meet up and relax and have a regular conversation and see where it goes. i realize the schedule for 2/1 got a little out of sync, which is due to my mother's cancer diagnosis, which has riled things a bit on my end, but have mostly worked out; update for you: she has her minor nodule surgery on monday and then some recovery time, that's about it. i now think your father died of cancer.

it is extraordinarily difficult to bring two people together. we should really try to make this happen, even if just once, for a single date. i realize that the age gap is wide but most people think i'm in my early 30s — if you can believe it — because you should, as you did, too. we also don't have to be bfs or anything sexual, only if that evolves organically (what do you think that would mean?) from a hanging out friendship. i had been especially excited about some kind of art-theory-text-computer-music collab (like my website), i am always looking for collaborators, and perhaps you could help me with getting my books — or yours — more bandwith somewhere. you'll see when we hang out that i am in fact cooler than you. this will put you at ease.

i'm not really sure why this hasn't happened yet, as it has been 2 years. i'm also not entirely sure why we have stuck with each — in mind — for so long. for me, it was your voice and locking eyes the first time. also, you are just a ridiculous person and it is charming. for you, it was probably the books of mine you read, followed by my website. but i can't say that for sure.

i did have the thought that perhaps you feel that our connection is painful, or that it bothers you, or puts you in a difficult spot, or makes you uncomfortable. i wouldn't know what that is about.

also, i think there might be some regret — even remorse — if we don't give a collab, a friendship, or even a relationship a shot. (avoid that, it lingers.)

i totally like you — not sure why, ultimately, as you feel about me, but let's try to bring these two people together — it might be really good!

mic :: i realize that asking you to come to my apt would be a bit difficult for you — awkward, even if i could clean it up quickly, i'm that talented — but perhaps we could meet up at your place. i could come to your apt (penthouse?) in inman, and we could chill and maybe — to start — talk about all of my objects that you've consumed, like the books and my website. it'll be easy, we're both talkers.

michael :: will send the book no matter.