cvs + big dick energy

andy pink, feeling dicked —

i realize that "big dick energy" has come and gone as useful vocabulary (i do believe it applies to my personage, and i've often been referred to as likely "having a big dick" without any empirical evidence). but i do have big dick energy — it's sometimes confused with charm or charisma, which is also the case for me. the veritability of my presence is monstrous.

i made the appt for a flu shot and covid booster last week, today is the day, at the central sq mass ave cvs. clocked for 11, i went in early to check to see if i was all set. the bitch at the counter (not a pharmacist but an underpaid "tech") was so unhelpful, saying that my appointment was in charlestown. i had the email from cvs to refute that, but she was so unpleasant. she said that they were behind (though i pointed out that no one was at the pharmacy) and she just was uncleanly flustered, meanly. i hate mean. i generally hate women, and this lady exposed that. i think an element of her personal turmoil in the face of my shots was her suspicion of a variant of "big dick energy" (maybe exacerbated by my plaid bucket hat) in me that she found offensive. in any case i'm so inclined to email cvs customer service and complain about the cunt, who didn't feel wholly american to me, to summarize it softly. by dick really isn't that big, it's beautiful, and it's an energy field, but it's not so big that it can't fit up your ass, dear reader. i will go back to the cvs later and check about it. i came all the way over to central (via harvard), which is a kill of a long walk from e cambridge, i'm tired.

i was finally able to successfully jerk off last night, what a relief. my cock was looking good, as always, and i'm working on being able to suck it (very difficult with the proportions of my body, i have found). white jock sugar porn and military comrade sex finally did it. it's a must to close your eyes and imagine the space, at least for me, which is the same as sex: you close your eyes. no one sucks dick with their eyes open, or if they do, it's a bad sign.

i have to read the "gay bar" piece again this weekend for the kids on monday. it's such a good book, fun to read and insightful, and i believe it will be the hit of the semester. "dottie gets spanked" was a hit, as was the "my private idaho" clip with keanu and river. i'm going to show a bit from "the l word" next week, which is a relic, or of my generation, but presents lesbians as sex-hungry hi femme professionals. (might show another clip from the ages, "queer as folk.") dykes don't have sex of course — because their sex doesn't count as sex, it doesn't begin with male arousal and end with male ejaculation — so this tv show puts the lie to that old stereotype, along with the straight man's exacerbated: "how do lesbians have sex?!"

in the end, the course will be about gay men. there are some lesbian/bi/"queer" ladies in the class, but i can't help but overemphasize gay male subjectivity and culture, and i want to say that there is simply less "large cunt electricity" out there in the queer selfhood and sociality in the lesbian galaxy, of which i am at a real distance. also, i have learned that coming out of the closet is passe, along with being visibly gay. i regret these two developments and hate gen-zzz (except for their torsos, penises, and balls). i do think it's strange that i can talk like this at the age of 46. maybe it's a total turn-off, don't know. i told the class that i was an old man, 46, and they seemed rather shocked. it's my clothing.

i am a horndog at the moment, hoping the flu shot and the bivalent booster might settle my drive a bit. when there is no other outlet but grindr torsos, it's bound to be a slow week. my pcp asked me how many different partners i have in a 3 month period, and i said 12. i decided that must be an exaggeration, just because i work at night (and in the morning) and i wouldn't be able to make time for that, or find that many people, however much i cruise in the different squares in cambridge. i revised the number in half. the pcp asked me if i wanted to go on prep, and i said no. i don't want to have to taste another pill.

i hope you are yours are well, and i insist that we all forget halloween, a truly queer holiday, but too close to all soul's day for me. all souls day is not a good one, as moll would say. can't believe she's gone —

i purchased the j crew madras wool jacket with lining. not sure it's going to go with my coloring.

andy in a pickle looking for a carrot, dr pink

me + dan @ fenway