Pervert-Schizoid-Woman

Andy Pink — cock for all to see —

I had this terrible nightmare last night that someone lacerated the entirety of jeff's back — from head to toe — with a metal spiked karate ball (?). the karate man told me to take jeff home so he could die, which i did. i'm not sure if jeff died or not, but i was relieved to wake up to him at my hip. perhaps the golden frame of this dream: i invented something called the "metal spiked karate ball."

by first big book, pervert-schizoid-woman, was a labor of love/hate, and it was researched and written over a four year period, which makes it my first baby, now joining 3rd grade at the age of 8. it's quite clearly a boy's book. it's really not intended to be read by women. with the current set — perverse relational cinematic — i am going to somehow try to make it a "lesbian project," mentioned in the preface, but that will require me to considerably stretch the meaning of "lesbian."

i'm not sure it has aged well, i haven't looked at my copy in a while, but dan did read it in its entirety (i believe he is the only one to have done so: bless his heart) and he liked it, and got the basic point, summarized in the coda, "everything is alive," satisfying, he said people would read me if i wrote in smaller sections (like a reasonable book), hence the smaller volumes of perverse relational cinematic, 5 of which are now published.

eventually, when i switch gears, possibly soon, i will work to divide pervert-schizoid-woman into smaller volumes, perhaps a book for each chapter of pervert-schizoid-woman, and i will publish them as a set (as i published the 5 books of perverse relational cinematic), separately. this will make the work digestable in smaller doses.

i did assign pervert-schizoid-woman to my students a few years ago but it was a disaster. although i made off with a bucket of commission, the students just could not understand the book. academic authors always have this fantasy: that their book can be read, even enjoyed, by a lay audience. but this fantasy is always punctured by the abject failure of the reader (student) to understand the text. (dan is an exception, probably because he has a phd and knows how to read). the newer perverse relational cinematic books are easier to read, they're even remedial — i mean, even rich could understand them: burn — so i think the fantasy of the ideal lay reader might be real. there's only one way to know: ask.

the spell check on my word is not really working, not sure what that is due to. all i know — from previous missed encounters — is there is no such thing as live microsoft support.

i'm quite proud of the work that dave and i did for pervert-schizoid-woman and, as most of my friends who read parts of it insist, the illustrations do not help in terms of understanding the thesis/es of the book. that would be true for us, textualists, thinkers of alphabets, words, sentences, paragraphs, and pages — but to a visual thinker, the illustrations might indeed be helpful, as i think it was ultimately for dave in understanding my work. dave went on to complete the masters art program at neu, not entirely pleased, and he has lapsed back into after school children's work, which i imagine is he is very good at (as i would be).

no luck in finding sex over the last two days. i'm considering a rent boy for an hour just to suck on his dick, but that gets up to $300 and i'm not sure i can waste a j crew ludlow suit on cock.

i went on grindr with my unused, dusty ipad air (i know): it has much larger pics, easier to scan and text on, but it's a lot of these torso pony pics, which are no doubt hot, but i've found those guys to be pretty hard to snag, they're really resistant to meeting irl. more and more, the grindr boys unlock their dick pics and, as a curator of cock, i appreciate it, but given poor production values — it's all such a disgrace, i find the penises monstrous, all of them, and return to their torsos in relief from their malformed penises, in private.

my blond boy barista is here today at the harvard tits, and all the white girl twits ignore him, too hungry to notice a beautiful man, who just happens to work manual labor, certainly funding a project that is exciting. i hate the harvard tits twits. but, having sunk my submarine at 1369, i'll have to make do, maybe even make friends. but i've come to hate harvard sq. with the tasty (long) gone, it's a commercial wasteland. and, though i would never admit to shopping at urban, the loss of the urban, even if it is even more explosive online, feels like a trace. but the good news: a new starbucks is moving into 1 jfk, below dewey and howe, a possible oasis of intellectual gay men. it must be so embarrassing to have gone to harvard as an undergrad. what do you say about that in your 30s?

love, the spiked pink

vagina monster face.