putting away

andy p, jamaica plain, mass —

i moved in yesterday to the new apt; the packing and moving was ridiculously expensive, including the exorbitant tip i forked over, no doubt prompted by my smug liberal guilt. i’ve managed to unpack almost everything — the bookshelves are up, the books are in, the desk is set up, computer up, clothes in exquisite perfect order (even with new “fashion wagon” to allow me to view my button downs in my living room on a rack), dishes, silver, supplies, face washes, all in place. i am speedy, up at 8, at my new starbucks, found a new cute guy to watch and wonder about.

unpacking is strange: all of a sudden, so quick, without a thought, hurried and fussy, fast and around, all the items somehow end up in their place. it’s all such a flukey accident with such consequential results: the pens will go there for the next year? the coffee mugs are going to reside there for the next year? i’ll put the forks on the left rather than the right for the next year? the bowls will go in the cabinet above the fridge rather than above the counter — for the next year? that’s the spot for my keys for the next year? this bookshelf will be here — really? here? yes, and for the next year.

it shows you what an accident and happenstance the environment and the milieu always turns out to be, as such.

i had no nightmare on the couch last night. the mattress isn’t coming till saturday due to sleepy’s snafu. cable/internet not for another week. i foresee darkness and clouds. i’m a bit depressed. i’ll go into school to do some work today. maybe i’ll feel better.

i ate three donuts yesterday: one pumpkin creme filled, one french crueller, one technically not a donut but a coffee roll. then i had kraft mac and cheese for dinner. and then i tried to throw it all up in the water closet.

there are two 20ish girls who live next door in my building, i think i will try to make friends with them. next week i will invite them over for dinner. perhaps i will suggest that they cook.

4 weeks no smoke!

in other news: i am buying a $1500 semi-professional video camera and making a movie of myself, ostensibly based on my philosophy class at school. it will be a series of “self-interviews” in my apt, then i will incorporate footage from other places, possibly my classroom i will have to learn final cut pro, which may prove to be impossible, though i have a friend who does some video work at a local arts college, so perhaps i will get help. the video is part philosophy, part autobiography, bits of theory and concept, but also manic depression and the various saps i’ve met along the way. i’ll youtube it when it’s done.

i told my mother this morning that she was the “unambiguously good” person in my life right now. she looked sad at that.

genet remains unfinished.

my real name is michael. but my friends call me morgan. my boyfriend calls me will. and dad calls me sorry.

tap tap,

andy pink