time circuits on

andy pink, boston, massachusetts —

my name is andy, i have been a member of crazymeds for a few years, i’ve been a lurker since the start, and i’ve made about 250 posts so far. my posts might make me out to be skeptical, sly, and sordid, but i’m quite a lovely man. i’d like to to think of myself as “unambiguously good,” but i think such a qualifier only applies to my mother. i am 37, a professor of french and german 19th century philosophy at a local college in boston, i’m gay, manic depressive with frequent bouts of psychosis, with mostly a euphoric, grandiose, and ambitious tinge. i still eat at howard johnson’s.

i have spent about 18 months of my adult life in asylums. i have been regularly tortured by staff at these otherwise elite and premier institutions in the northeast of the usa. i firmly believe that — as a general rule — staff at these hospitals are more dysfunctional and pathological than the patients. the world is certainly a camera obscura — that is, if you are able to maintain perspective within smoke and mirrors of breath and life.

i’m quite happy with my job, as a teacher and a writer. i write mostly academic material at this time (i have a mammoth book manuscript that requires overhaul and correction) but i also dabble in other modes of alphabetical communique. i especially like the on-line dating format, i quite excel in such contexts as a happy writer, less so as a genuine participant. i should think that this blog will be quite beautiful to write, i will try to keep to a schedule of 20 min every morning, start the day with tap and tap.

i have only been in love once.

i should say that to live a life in which one can say that they have only been in love once is surely lovely. it means that the “love of one’s life” is indeed. i also like the idea that this love is found. i like the idea that love only happens once. i hope to never fall in love again. like, even more difficult.

i am moving from apartment to apartment tomorrow. i am in an apartment with desk and mattress only. the rest is on the truck. i wonder if it will survive the expected thunderstorms.

i should say that mental illness is not a major part of my life. but i think that the exact opposite of this statement could also be true. the worst event in my life was my father’s suicide when i was age 7. i do believe that he too was unambiguously good.

i hate zyprexa. i sometimes wonder what miss lilly looks like. was the company named after her first born, young eli? i bet eli went to private school.

i will try to write in the morning. i shall become a regular poster. this will be my new hobby.

andy pink, wink