ollies and blessings

andy pink, from portland, oregan —

in stock peeps, we kick leaps —

patrick's bike (new and old, but especially the vintage one) featured prominently in my fantasy about him — i am not sure why, my father rode a bike, i suppose that is it, and trevor's bike was a feature of his being-in-the-world — but, in short, patrick's bike, which is featured in the 'boys' section under his feature, has gone missing, and i assume that he has swapped, since he is still at the store, the bicycle in for the skateboard that i saw him more or less successfully using, in front of the cheers of the wide faced brown hair girl — as i walked by, apple green headphones on, and spat quite a substantial one, at her feet, no words, and then of course that night the stickers went up — he is, now a skateboarder.

i imagine he threw the book out, which landed on tuesday, which is really a shame, because even as editor, i pay $22/copy and to discard a book, it's just bad all around; it is possible that he gifted the book to someone else — or that the manager, meagan, or some other manager, took some interest in the title — but surely patrick didn't read it, though i would wager that he would be able to understand it, as would chris and trevor (the latter who very much liked it, and was sweet about it).

there is still more scan-to-pdf to do, and i did two rounds today, but i will have to do at least two rounds tomorrow and sunday, and more on monday, in order to finish it off, just barely. actually, i really will have to move on it tomorrow, get ahead, to have a chance to complete the job by monday, before class. i also have to write up the disclaimer, and reorganize the syllabus, which won't take long, but i have to save time for that.

i thought about how i haven't written about sex and the penis for such a long time for you guys — i'm not sure what has happened, i have certainly discovered the internal kernel of (a)sexuality in my being, over the last couple of years, but i am still raw to write the penis into text, but i've been wayward on the project, or left it in abeyance, but i promise to return to it, perhaps in the next addition to the fact sheet.

as for my health: i have been agitated and frustrated all day — mixed — and so i finally downed a haldol to head it off; i do still feel uncomfortable, or riled a bit, but i'm sure it will pass, as does most of this stuff. in general, i suppose i am quite stable at the moment, and look forward to a smooth and charismatic semester. but i think — given the acuteness of my illness — it is much to my credit that at the age of 40 i have a phd, i am a professor, i have published 10 peer reviewed articles, i have published a book, and i excel at my job and personal relations; i guess my final deficit is really the mental illness — it does get in the way, in its way — but in some ways i really wouldn't trade it out, it is part of the best of me, it is internal to my talents, and it is to be tolerated, and even celebrated, as part of what makes me work so well.

peter, who received the package (book and gift) will be saturday; lisa on sunday. will email dan tonight — perhaps i will post that here — is should be an explanation of sorts —

penis, tomorrow, too —

love andy