At the Ends of Masochism

andy pink, up late without a date —

do you have a saved copy of the original match andy foxfrye quiz? i accidentally replaced it with the "about michael's manic depression: calming rich's nerves" quiz — and now i can't find it. this, is like being in a david lynch film. i must tell you: i'm looking pretty good right now, down to 168 lbs after the purge and feel in top form to suck your dick. i do love you basically, in must have been love at first sight (site), it was retroactive, unconscious initially, but i figured it out pretty quickly. you must have fallen in love hard upon perusing the website. i do think the indie rocker boy is cute, the day you made fun of me (the cold, abusive rejection) he brought my coffee to me at my table. god, they must have all been so pissed that you had fucked it up so royally. i'm glad you're beginning to make amends.

i'm having a wee trouble sleeping and jeff (dog) can't sleep while i'm still awake (he sleeps with me, might change once you start visiting) — so it's hard for both of us. i'm done with the semester (quarter system), so i have no schoolwork and will sleep tomorrow (today), day.

if you've taken the latest quiz i think we've settled the mental illness matter.

jeff & bed

i fear that there are no more problems. i know that i aggrandize the "patient waiting" in pervert-schizoid-woman, and in the recent collection for the set, but i think you might be an exception. i've been waiting, aplenty. i'm curious what you thought blew about that book. it could have used some editing, a friend told me that the chapter on the different psychical structures (neurotic, psychotic, perverse) is too long and overly repetitive, but i think some stuff is worth repeating. (love at first sight.) i have a couple of mild regrets — or rather changes that i would make, a few sections i would cut or renovate — but given that i was 32 when i wrote the book — that's praiseworthy, even impressive. i think the illustrations — or at least the concept of — are inspired, and dave was the perfect bloke to make it happen. (god was he a weirdo.) i'm looking forward to our collaborations together, that will be awesome. i do wonder whether you are still at 1369 — i hope so, you had a good gig there and loved that job. after we consummate i hope to work in the store on your mornings: i want to finish off the "homosexual" book (dedicated to you, not withstanding), and it would be the perfect spot to write it, with coffee, alternately listening to music and listening to you. i fear that there are no more problems.

are you allergic to canines?

i'm also impressed with this: i managed to discern all of your page references from the website. i tend not to communicate indirectly — by choice — but can do it, i'm tutored in that style. remember when you were the plaything font on bleakswan? then i accidentally erased our missives, and you disappeared, nary a pursuit. not looking for a plaything.

i think the road trip is a good idea. i can do my schoolwork from my laptop and you'll have to take vacation days, but let's do it. i haven't driven in 14 years (i had a civic in rochester) and you probably travel by skateboard, so we might have to rent a car. but that's fine. it's the perfect blend of other-interaction and close-proximity, with the additional bonus that we don't have to look at each other while driving, easier conversation that way (also a walk would do that trick, too). i don't really have any money, but i have enough to help pay for the rental, gasoline, food. we can sleep/fuck in the car. i fear that there are no more problems.

i always want to say about coming out to your parents: if you want my help, i can do that; parents love me, i'm irrestible in that genre, have done it before, and am happy to do it for you.

i'm not sure what our living situation will be. i fear that might be a problem.

tally ho,

mic